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Funny Jokes about Italians and Europeans

The world where we live:

Sono usciti i risultati di un sondaggio effettuato dall'ONU. La domanda era: "Per piacere, dica onestamente qual'e' la sua opinione sulla abbondanza o scarsita' di alimenti nel resto del mondo." Il risultato e' stato il seguente:

  • gli europei non hanno capito cosa sia la "scarsita'."
  • gli africani non sapevano cosa fossero gli "alimenti."
  • gli americani hanno chiesto il significato di "resto del mondo."
  • i cinesi, straniti, hanno chiesto maggiori delucidazioni sul significato di "opinione."
  • nel parlamento italiano, si sta ancora discutendo su cosa sia "onestamente."

    The results of a poll made by United Nations came out. The question was: "Please, tell us honestly what is your opinion about the abundance vs. scarcity of food in the rest of the world." The results were as follows:

  • The Europeans did not understand what was meant by "scarcity".
  • The Africans did not understand "abundance."
  • The Americans asked the meaning of the "rest of the world".
  • The Chinese, puzzled, asked for an explanation of "opinion".
  • Meanwhile, in the Italian Parliament, they are still debating the meaning of "honestly".       

    Classic European Heaven & Hell:

    Heaven: Where cooks are French, mechanics are German, police are English, lovers are Italian and everything is organized by the Swiss.

    Hell: Where cooks are English, mechanics are French, police are Germans, lovers are Swiss and everything is organized by the Italians.

    Nationalities:

    - A cruise ship captain has to convince the passengers of his sinking ship to jump overboard. He has to use a different approach with each European. He tells the English it would be unsporting of them not to jump. He tells the French it would be the smart thing to do. He tells the Germans that it is an order. And he tells the Italians that jumping overboard is forbidden.

    On Berlusconi:

    President Berlusconi is a busy man on many fronts, extremely active, omnipresent . . . Last Tuesday, at 9 am he started work at the Counsel of Ministers, at 10 am he made a presentation at the beginning of a convention as Foreign Minister, at 11 he spoke at the Chamber of Commerce as a businessman, at noon he participated at a Mediaset meeting on competition. During the coffee break, as some participants were asking themselves: "Isn't he doing a few too many things?" Berlusconi was heard to say, from behind the bar, "Who wanted the latte macchiato?"

    Il Presidente Berlusconi e' un uomo impegnato su molti fronti, attivissimo, onnipresente... Martedi' scorso, alle 9 ha aperto i lavori del Consiglio dei Ministri, alle 10 ha presenziato all'apertura di un convegno come Ministro degli Esteri, alle 11 ha preso la parola in Confindustria come imprenditore, alle 12 ha partecipato ad una riunione del Garante sulla concorrenza... Durante il coffee-break, mentre alcuni partecipanti si chiedevano: "Ma non fara' un po' troppe cose ???" si e' sentito Berlusconi, da dietro il bar, che diceva: "Per chi e' il macchiato caldo ?".      

    About the Euro:

    Berlusconi, durante un giorno di riposo, passeggia per le vie di Roma con la moglie Veronica, quando si sofferma davanti a una vetrina e le

  • Berlusconi dice: "Veronica, amore mio, guarda qua. Pantaloni 20 Euro. Camicia 17 Euro. Giubbotto in pelle 55 Euro... Vedi? E poi parlano di rincari per via dell' Euro! Ma quali rincari! Quale crisi?".
  • E Veronica: "Tesoro, questo non e' un negozio di abbigliamento, e' una lavanderia". (Mauroemme)

    Berlusconi: is walking in downtown Rome with his wife Veronica when they stop in front of store.

  • Belusconi exclaims: " Veronica, my darling, look here. Pants 20 Euro, Shirts 17 Euros, Leather coats 55 Euros. Take a look! Can you believe that they are talking about the inflation and crisis due to the Euro! What inflation? What crisis?
  • Veronica: "My dear, this is not a clothing store, this is a dry cleaner!"       

     

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